Birthday resolution

You know how New year rolls around and you make resolutions?
I resolved not to make any a few years back and maybe it’s time to resolve to quit resolutions too.

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After about 15 years of empty promises to myself, all except for one, (eating as much chocolate as possible in my life time), I decided to quit the quickest route to disappointment.

But as my birthday rolls around I like to write down a few birthday wishes. Last year I was pretty pregnant and it was my last year of the 20’s so I made one wish. I wished to find something that would make me happy. Something I could lose myself in. I wrote that I hoped it would make me money but more than anything that it would give me satisfaction.

Recently I started helping brides put together their weddings. Help for the DIY bride. It is wonderful. I am helping people and I am being creative but I want something I could use to reach more people. Something I could pass down to my children and their children.

I love writing. I just haven’t sat down and written stories in a long time. I haven’t been a practicing writer. I have this one novel and I feel like I can’t let it go. I believe in the story. I lived the lessons. I love the characters and I believe that other people will love them too.

Sometimes I have been tempted to throw in the towel and quit. I don’t know how to get to where I know I can be. Maybe I am afraid of success. Maybe the idea of being recognised on the street scares the living daylights out of me. Don’t most writers write so they don’t actually have to engage with actual people? Don’t we really live in our heads?

I just know in my heart that I am a story teller.

Approaching thirty wasn’t scary or depressing. I suffer from depression and anxiety disorder so I would know!  The idea of a new decade is exciting to me.

I decided I would be hopeful instead of make promises I may not keep. You don’t want to burden yourself.

I am hopeful that I will learn and perfect yoga. I am hopeful that I will raise a family. I am hopeful that I will still be married by the end of this decade. I am hopeful that I will touch your life through my writing. I am hopeful that I will be able to tick off many items on my life to do list for the next ten years and I invite you to do the same.

Let us get our to do lists,  bucket lists, dream walls back up there.

And I hope you and I can shape our lives to what we would like it to resemble. It won’t come easy. Life practice never has been easy for anyone. I just know it is a sure path to making life a little bit happier.

Here’s to a happy new year!

Posted from WordPress for Android 2015

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