It started as physical attraction. I hear most of these things do.
She was young, firm and shapely. Confident and feisty.
He would later say she intrigued him.
She would remember this every time he rebuffed her affections. A girl could only take so much.
He was lovely. Funny. Handsome and well put together. He said he shared her vision of the future. He said she deserved the best. He promised her the moon.
She was inlove and just wanted his heart.
The lonely lover lives with her hearts desire being unmet and unfulfilled. Sleeps in a cold bed. People watching. Envying the desire seen in mens eyes for the womans body walking next to his.
Her lover doesn’t know her. How can he with the tv being a reality and their lives being the show? She doesn’t know. She just knows she is lonely. The gold band is a cold reminder of the shackles she lives in. The lonely wife turning and twisting this way and that.
He is lonely. She has other interests. He wonders what life would be like if he hadn’t lost the love of his life. His wife was lovely but she has grown cold. No sex. No interest. He is tired at the end of the day. She could make an effort with her appearance he thinks bitterly. Where has the girl I fell for gone?
His heart was not his to give away. It still resides in the palm of his last lover.
She displays all the trinkets she received in the heady days of courting. Maybe now he will get the hint. I want to be spoilt because I deserve it remember? Do you even know I exist?
Before the evening is over she would have snapped at him twice and given up her attempt at conversation. He doesn’t see her lonely heart missing him. What she says isn’t important. It’s material things she’s after. Doesn’t she understand money is tight? Doesn’t he understand she wants him to show her she is still special to him and deserves nice things.
Both of them is thinking what an affair would be like. Someone to talk to. Someone who is interested in her plans. Someone who desires her. Makes her feel beautiful with a look. She cries in the shower. He doesn’t see her state.
He wants someone interesting.
Someone who desires him. Makes him feel like a man. Someone to fuck.
They both feel unappreciated. Undesired. Unloved.
The situation only gets worse.
She has been listening to his needs and makes a gift purchase accordingly. He hears alot of things but his mind is with someone else. He doesn’t do anything.
She has surprised him with a booking at his favourite restaurant. She thinks this will take them off the couch. He says he’s a lucky man. Half way through dinner he leans over and says “I didn’t get a chance to buy you a gift but I will at some point.”
This is her breaking point. Too many disappointments. Too many little lies.
She feels rage in her belly.
Last week when she thought about the evening she had planned she told herself not to expect anything. She cried into her pillow in the cold and lonely bed. Maybe he will make the effort. Maybe I will be a priority. Just this once. Disappointment.
She gets up from the table. Her eyelids shiny with tears. She will go home now. The restaurant staff will hand him his gifts. He will tell her she is being dramatic. He just didn’t have time.
He just couldn’t make time during the past year.
Anniversaries are on the same day every year.
She cannot leave him. She will have to move in to the guest room or continue the charade.
Like her birthday had gone.
Like her Christmas had gone.
Like her Valentine’s day had gone.
He is angry. She doesn’t appreciate all the things he does for her.
He doesn’t understand her. He doesn’t love her anymore.
She is sad. He doesn’t appreciate all the things she sacrificed for him.
He doesn’t understand her. Why doesn’t he love her anymore?
If only he had kept being her lover looking to secure her affections. She would not feel so forgotten and would have the desire to be whatever he needed.
They don’t talk.
They just put out the light.
Two lonely lovers laying side by side in the dark.
Posted from WordPress for Android 2015