This has just been my under construction year or phase or whatever you’d like to call it.
Firstly, I’ve been away for about 3 months. I left my job and sold everything in my home, boxing a few items in search of my husbands career opportunity and my mental health.
I’ve come back because I need a holiday from my holiday. Does that make sense?
Ireland and the experience there was more challenging than tranquil. I didn’t enjoy the people. Getting to know my in laws better was a dramatic fail and I missed home all the time.
South Africans are just friendly people once and all. I love my country but I needed to start living and it was proving impossible here at home base.
I planned to write. Have you ever noticed how hard it is to be creative when all you really want to do is sleep? Also I lost all my notes; even my journal… I kept asking myself how am I going to get through all this? I didn’t know. All I knew was I was effectively more unhappy than before I had left and something had to be done. Hubby was busy, busy, busy (although concerned about my deteriorating condition) and he isn’t going to stop for years. I need to find me and soon.
So this is what I plan to do. Spend more time with family. See my friends and meet all the new tiny humans I’ve missed out on since being away and read books. I really need to sit down and write. Keep a progess journal. (I need a new laptop.)
I can only pray that by the time the next 5 or 6 months are over I can return to my husband a whole person with direction and happiness in my heart. An emotionally independant woman.
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