‘Sometimes I can only see the grey. I don’t see the brights or anything exciting. I get heavy and all I care to do is rest. Sleep if I must but just to lay down. In front of a large window. With no one to speak to. No sound to disturb the grey. Just time, to wallow in the feeling of void. Do you know what I mean?’
‘No. I really don’t.’ He seated himself on the coffee table concerned about her state of mind. ‘Catherine, you do know that you are not alone. There is a whole world of people out there who look forward to your blog posts and want to know all about the publishing world and France and who are genuinely interested in your life.’
She shook her head and ran her fingers lightly across the creases on her brow.
‘ You obviously don’t understand what it is I am feeling and I can’t explain it. I need you to know it’s okay. Sometimes I get this way. Sometimes I need to shut down to find what it is in my life that isn’t working. This is my lifes’ way of saying, something is not right. Go back and find the step you missed.’
‘You don’t miss steps. If anyone misses steps it’s me.’
“I miss steps too. Sometimes I’m in such a hurry to get myself to be where I think I should be that I don’t enjoy where I am. I don’t learn the lessons. I miss out on the gifts. I run out of steam and I’m all tired out. Now I find myself here. Stagnant and needing a rest.’
‘For how long?’ he asked quietly.
‘For as long as it takes to learn the lesson.’