When words fail

Somedays I feel so disappointed, so angry! Dumbfounded? I feel so winded, so suprised yet – honestly so unsuprised. So hopeless!
Somedays it’s so surreal that I sit on the couch quietly, ever so carefully – watching mindless television while the voices in my head scream at each other.
I just let them. Because they say the things I can’t. :|

Posted from WordPress for Android 2015

Relationship is complicated

Conversation went something like this

I said, ‘I miss my baby when he sleeps. I feel like somethings missing.’
She said, ‘Weird. I can’t wait for mine to fall asleep at night. It means I get to spend some uninterrupted time with my husband.’

Then I thought…

Is there something wrong with me? That’s not terribly strange. I often wonder if I am weird.
Why doesn’t it bother me not spending alone time with my husband? I started feeling a little sick.
What does that say about my relationship? I just couldn’t sleep well.

Nothing brings on insecurity faster than worry. And I worry.

Posted from WordPress for Android 2015

Where did you go?

18 February 2015

7 years ago girl meets boy 👦 👧
6 years ago boy follows girl to Cape Town ✈
5 years ago there’s a proposal 💍
4 years ago girl starts this blog
3 years ago there’s a wedding 💒
2 years ago girl follows boy in emigration to Ireland ✈
1 year ago a positive pregnancy test 👶
   Three months ago we welcomed a boy into our world 🌍 and life has never been the same. Everything changed.
   A week ago I finally got my cellphone 📱 upgraded to one that will allow me to get back to blogging

I am physically exhausted and my boobs are constantly hanging out without my knowledge most days and it’s true I am still pretty fuzzy but then nothing new there. My life just became an actual novel.

I’m back. I missed writing. I missed you. One person reading this blog.

Posted from WordPress for Android 2015

Balance challenge

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I hear ‘less is more’ and this is true except when you have already rid your wardrobe of 80% of your belongings and the further 20% that remains manages to look like the above fiasco.

This year is a good time to start looking for a little more balance in our lives.
For my husband, balance will be the magic word as I return to Ireland and his 14 hour work days will no longer be an option. I know… Read 4 hour work week. But like I have been told many times it is not as easy as that.
Unless your body kicks against the curb and screams no more! His body did that in the form of a disgusting cyst that needed to be squeezed and cut at and a system energy shut down. Fun times. Now hopefully he finally sees the value of food and excercise. New year, new you.

The highlight of 2013 for me was resigning from my job. I was relieved to be leaving such a draining process behind. I needed to get back to doing something more suited to the creative Cindy. A step away from journalism and further away from Customer Service.
I certainly loved working with people but I’m not the soul to listen to a stream of complaints. Basically, I could never be a social worker or work in the psycology profession but I love helping people at the same time.
I will need to return to Ireland sit down and find my slippers (feet) before making any concrete decisions about my future since this future impacts our future as a family.

I love the idea of having everything I have ever wanted but I need to know what that everything entails. 2014 will be the year for me. A year for us.

This is a very exciting time of my life. My only issue is dealing with all this change Im going to need to embrace.

I aspire to live the best life that I can. A life of health and abundance. One of focus and perserverance. One of a deeper love of myself and my marriage. A year for family and new friends.

Balance. Like yoga and pilates.

Have a wonderful January and a productive weekend. The first of many for 2014.

Cindy Wade
2014

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2014 Hallelujah

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Hi team, I trust your 2014 is getting underway in luxuriously leisurely manner. Love, peace, prosperity and buckets of inspiration to you, your families and never to be forgotten, your characters.

I know I have been silent in the fourth quarter of the year 2013 but I was re recuperating with my family and I was just not feeling  inspired enough to write anything except a diary entry. Although, truth is, I didn’t manage that everyday either.

Change is not an easy thing for me to do. I realised I might have been over confidant in my ability to leave my family, my friends, and my old life behind.

This time, after being back in Cape Town for four months without my better half, I am ready to try again taking the lessons I’ve learned with me and accepting my life for what it truly is; a journey and not a destination.

I am counting the days. Soon I will be back in my own silent retreat. Back with my confidant. My love. My best friend. We will start off 2014 a little late but my motto is as always, everything happens for a reason.

For the next two weeks I will be doing last minute visits, last minute buys, sending off more boxes for posting and lastly;  wrestling my suitcase into submission. Going from high Summer to high Winter, I can only hope the bed will be a comfortable one, because it is where I will be spending the majority of the icy days.

I certainly look forward to completing the Jeff Goins 31 day 500 words challenge to kickstart my 2014 writing.

Chat soon and as always, be bold, be happy, be brave, be Vogue.

Cindy Wade
2014

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